HOW TO GET OUR JOBS? – Funhaus Comments #23


– Welcome back to the first piece of content we recorded after the drunk stream. – We’re all great, we are all great. – You already fucked it up ’cause you guys did the podcast already. – I said I wanted to do push ups. – Everything’s great. – Push ups, since we’ve been doing drunk stuff forever, if I smell that I will throw up. If we, the I’m, I’m just gonna have to put all these different blurry letters together to try and make words. Um, this is from the last comment show, Idi, James you’re a funny bastard, could you give me a quote to use in my high-school yearbook? Hmm, let’s see, what’s something he can take with him for the rest of his years? Um– – Get fucked. – Close, what about, chicks love dicks unless you ask ’em to licks, then they’ll not like, how much how many characters? – Are you ever embarrassed of him? – [Elyse] Yeah I mean, sometimes chicks like vaginas. – Don’t Rick says– – Munch box! – Just say lunch box?
– No, munch box. – Oh, munch box.
– Yeah. – This is from the Let’s Play video where we played Dead By Daylight, alexthehunted says, “Does Bruce just play games and when it gives him “all the hints he needs to figure out what to do, he just “ignores them, and then complains the game “never told him to do that.”
All right, I’ll tell you a little story. – [James] Here we go.
– Imagine if you were sitting down to record a gameplay, and you’d never played the video game before, never seen any videos about it, they’re like we’re gonna play this video game, and you’re gonna be the main character, the killer. What would you do, would you know how everything worked, right off, first thing in the first five minutes of video game, would you?! – Bruce, did you watch the tutorial videos? – No! I didn’t have time, I was working. – [Lawrence] They were wrong anyway so. – I’m sorry, I apologize.
– Maybe you should spend less time working and more time gaming! – All right, here I go, I need a– – Yep yep, stop doing that you gotta, yeah forget it, forget it, put the headphones on. – Those are very expensive please stop.
– We can use this moment to announce the fact that it’s a new initiative, if you prove that you’re a better gamer than any of us you get our jobs, that’s how it works.
– How do you prove it? – By writing a comment and explaining just how bad we are. But you have to really prove it, so Iwant you guys to try as hard as you can to explain in every way that we are bad at any second of any video game you ever see.
– No, come on.
– It’s working, it’s gonna work. – Negativity, don’t ask for it. – It’s gonna make Funhaus even better, ’cause all we wanna hear is how we were bad in that one fucking second that made it into the video, ’cause clearly that’s everything we’ve ever done.
– Just do your best! – Do your best.
– It might not amount to anything, yearbook quote, 2016.
(Bruce chuckles) – This is from the Handicap Hitman Wheelhaus Gameplay which I wasn’t in so I don’t know how I got dragged into this but EgoCityGaming says, “Elyse is slowly turning James into her ‘Muppet’, “first he goes all stuff.”
That may be stiff? “Next week he’ll start growing “bright colorful short hair all over “his body.”
– Oh it stinks, oh ugh. – “I won’t even talk about his gaping butt hole which is stage three.” – [Bruce] Adam burped over there. – [James] Oh god.
– Adam’s burps are not gonna hurt you like. – I saw the hamburger that Adam ate earlier today. – Oh it was so good.
– You guys got hamburgers without me? – It was like a baby’s–
– It was called the All American Girl. – The Baby’s Bitches Burgers or whatever. – It had everything on it.
– Like if I was gonna work James like a Muppet I would at least record it and put it on a channel.
– Usually it’s about when he does the Red Bull burp, but this one’s a Budweiser burp. All right, on our Quiplash gameplay, Ollie Bob… Ollie Bob writes– – It smells better now.
– “Lawrence is a dick, and he’s trying to “justify it by saying it’s comedy and we don’t “get comedic timing, but I can tell an only child “when I see one, but he is part of Funhaus “so I guess you have to love him.”
(Bruce giggling) – What?
– [Bruce] Apparently he thinks Lawrence is an only child. – I’m not.
(Adam clapping) – Ollie Bob knows everything about you, what else does Ollie Bob know about you?
– Well he knows that I’m bad at comedic timing, which I mean is true, I’m not funny. I’m striving, I’m striving to interpret your constructive feedback here ’cause I can tell you’re just trying to make the content better man and I want that too, but I think we have a bit of a communication break down here.
Also fuck you. – This is from our E3 live stream, JMMSmicore? (JmmcCore) Hearing James constantly praising Elyse is really cute.
(all cooing) Well, if you think that’s cute, why don’t you try this on for size? Sometimes, Elyse, I watch her go to the bathroom.
– [Bruce] What?!
– [Elyse] That never happens. – What?
– That’s not cute.
– [Elyse] That never happens. – [Lawrence] That’s pretty cute.
– I would not actually allow that. – Do you poop in front of him?
– No. You guys know that I don’t.
– Does he poop in front of you? – I pooped after lunch today.
– Can I poop in front of both of you?
– [Lawrence] You ever poop while making eye contact? – Of all the poopers I’ve ever pooped with, she’s the best.
– All I ever heard was that you guys joked about Blaine running a train on me. – No no, we said Blaine was on a train with you. – No, that’s not what you said.
– Did not say any of those things, nope. – That’s what Adam said and Adam also said that you probably fucked Jeff Kili. – I didn’t say that either.
– I didn’t say that, Jeff Kili’s an asexual creature.
– I have a question. – We’ll cut all this out.
– What no keep it! – I wish you guys would make more of these jokes when I was around, though.
– Did you fuck Jeff Kili? – No absolutely not.
– Did you let Blaine run the Blaine Train on you?
– No! – I love Elyse’s laugh! Make her laugh. – How does one man run a train on somebody? I thought it had to be a multiple dude sort of thing. – You go like that and then you–
– You run around? – Like that.
– Well then you get a running start every time. – Yeah.
– That’s how The Flash has sex. – [James] Whoa!
– Woo woo. – [Lawrence] Guys that’s disrespectful.
– Yeah that’s really disrespectful. – To who, Blaine? – Munch box, 2016!
(Adam giggles) – Have a great summer! – This is from our DOTA is Gay??!!! Video, this is the YouTubers Live gameplay, Stickaaaay, “This video has made me “concerned for the future of Funhaus. “They CLEARLY do not know how to run a YouTube “channel, where’s Joel?” – Uh oh.
– Yeah I don’t know. – Before Joel died, he left specific instructions to name one video… – DOTA is Gay.
– DOTA is Gay. – [Elyse as Joel] You gotta name the video DOTA is Gay! – Was that your Joel impression?
– [Elyse as Elyse?] No no no, absolutely not. – That was a Jeff Kili impression. – Anyway we’ll be at his wedding funeral later this week it’s gonna be, gonna be great! – What do you think Blaine sounds like while he’s having sex? (wheezing and groaning)
You think he wheezes? Like a weasel having sex? – [Adam] Like a dolphin, and he’s just like. (imitating a dolphin in pain) – He’s Christian Bale from American Psycho, we all know that. – Oh.
– [Lawrence] I bet he–
– We all know that. – [Lawrence] I bet he’s totally silent except at the end there’s one. (sighing) – Hey you’re on the show too.
– Yeah I know don’t forget. – It’s time for Peake!
– I got a Lawrence comment. – Thank you for burping over there.
– This is from the Loot My Box Overwatch gameplay.
– Everyone loves me! – No this isn’t that bad.
– Everyone loves me. – ActualDazChief says that, “I get mad playing Overwatch but seeing Lawrence get mad “makes me realize how silly I must look “when I play haha.”
And, I thought don’t know I thought that’s funny and I feel bad ’cause Adam I was sitting here last night complaining about every little thing in Overwatch and Adam was probably really sick of hearing me, so–
– I had my headphones on it’s cool. – Still, still, I do the same thing, and I know what you mean, I had to catch myself and realize I must seem like a total dummy right now and I’m not digging at you Lawrence. – Remember guys–
– This is not a dig at you.
– If you point out, that we’re bad at games,
(Bruce wheezing) you’ll find out our weak spot and then we’ll disappear and you get to come here and be us. That’s how it works, so keep at it guys. – That’s not what this comment was about.
– Oh, it should be. – Have a good summer!
– Let me tell you a secret about Matt Peake, I hear him playing Overwatch in his bedroom, sometimes at night and I hear him getting really frustrated, and I go, you know what? I know exactly how he feels, and I feel for Matt Peake. Because, I realize that I scream a lot, and I probably sound like an asshole, so we sound like assholes together Matt. – No it sounds silly he said. – We sound like assholes, yeah! – Have a great summer! – Last night was a dream come true.
– This is from– – Last Guardian is a real thing. (?)
– This is from the most recent Open Haus, Eren Omeroglu says, “Bruce fuck you for the spoiler.”
Game of Thrones spoiler. – Oh!
– “Literally you guys are a bunch of “retards sometimes.”
– Oh literally.
– [Elyse] Literally! – That’s not literally.
– Stuck it to us on that one. – [Elyse] Are you dusting yourself off?
– By the way, the next time I say a spoiler on Open Haus, I’ll warn you. All right? – After that.
– Hodor’s dead.
– [All] Ohhhhhh! – Arya’s alive and she left the House of Black and White.
– None of them are real. In case you guys didn’t know that.
– Ned Stark dies at the end! – Jon Snow came back from the dead. – Tyrion fucks Daenerys on a dragon, Open Haus Making A Murderer, this is from RighteousGrunt, “Elyse’s Kennedy impression sounds “more like Elmer Fudd than anything else.” (all laughing) [Elyse as Ted Elmer Kennedy?] I take offense to that comment. – I’m tellin’ ya is that Ted Kennedy? Is that another Kennedy?
– [Elyse as Rose Kennedy] I will work on my impressions to make them great for America again. – I don’t think that anyone did. – I mean, the presidents will do that. – I know but I think–
– I don’t know if John F. Kennedy did that. – I don’t think he did it.
– [Elyse] Yeah he did. And then he stuck it up Marilyn.
– Yeah right up her. (pfft)
– This is yet another criticism of our Overwatch skills. – Someone’s gonna get a job?
How close do they come? – The King of Sweden, my liege. “James is fucking garbage. “He actually fucking told Lawrence “to switch off of healer to fucking useless “Winston what a retard honestly.” – Oh James he got you. – He got me.
– You gotta quit now though. – It’s weird too because in the video, I explain the reason why I said to switch it.
– Hold on I got bad news for ya James. – You’re fired.
– The King of Sweden is replacing you as the next Funhaus member.
– My liege! – And you’re gonna have to be his PA. – All right, well, the first thing you have to do to do my job is you’re gonna have to read stupid comments from royalty from small countries that have all kinds of cool healthcare and shit. So does that mean I become the King of Sweden?
– You’re the King of Sweden now. – Healthcare’s gone, you have to pay for college. – Oh shit.
– Have a great summer 2016, munch box. – James Chamberlain says, “Lawrence likes terrible movies but not Game of Thrones? “I bet he thinks Star Wars is overrated too.” – Boom.
– [James] Wow he really jumped to a conclusion about you.
– A bit yeah. I don’t dislike Game of Thrones. It’s possible to think something is stupid and still enjoy it.
I know, it’s hard– – No it’s not evidently. – Fuckin’ stupid, it’s all fuckin’ stupid. Oh magic, oh dragons. I guarantee you in five years, people look back and think how quaint all this stuff is, because it’s gonna trail off. How is it gonna end?
– Ingrid dies.
– Gets paralyzed! – There’s gonna be new characters, old characters die, it’s just The Walking Dead man, you should be used to this stuff already.
– All the other Starks is dead. – This is from the same video, the DOTA is Gaaaay?!? This one’s from Dylan Gormley, he dies at the end of season two Game of Thrones. “Please stop with the click bait titles. “They’re everywhere these days and you guys “are adding to the problem.”
– Oh. – “Absolutely love Funhaus which makes it all the more worse “as you honestly don’t need them “to attact viewers. #FuckOffClickbait.” That’ll get trending. – Oh, he knows how to run our channel! Thank you, for the helpful advice, thanks for that. – Um.
– I’ve got bad news, he’s gonna replace you as the next member of Funhaus. – Got you Adam! Oh you can join me in Sweden. – I will be honest though that title was my fault, because it was a parody of YouTube titles, it’s a big joke.
– Parentheses parody. You know you can get sued for fair use. – It was–
– You’ve been replaced, I’m sorry. You don’t need to comment anymore, he’s gonna come in. – We were mocking ourselves, it’s like just stupid. – Please Matt.
– Anyway let’s keep talking about– – I just wanna get it over with.
– There we go that’s– – That’s a good mentality for content.
– All right, this is from the Hooked On Murder gameplay, Leonard Church couldn’t find anything really in this one that I, so I picked a positive one it was a lot of like.
– That’s good. – Well yeah. It was a lot of like let Lawrence be the murderer and I hope they keep playing this, which probably both those things will happen. Anyway, Leonard Church says, “I love in the first round “how Elyse was trying to save people “Bruce was being the ballsy “ballsy type, “Lawrence was the clutch Metal Gear Solid “stealth Victor and James was the “Heath Ledger psycho, “RIP Adam the black guy that died too fast.” The roles really fit each person, love this so much thanks Funhaus. Yeah it was a good time, and you probably will see more. – Have a great summer.
– So this is– – The Hound isn’t dead. (?)
– Oh.
– [Elyse] He’s got a penis. – Oh. This is also on the Overwatch gameplay. Pat Gandin writes, “Lawrence is one of those gamers, “OMG EVERYTHING IS MY TEAM’S… TEAM FAULTS, “and everyone why kills me “is a hacker. Scrub.” – Scrub.
(laughing) – You got me Pat, you got me.
– I got bad news for you Lawrence. – Oh.
– You’ve been replaced.
– Oh Pat you got me boy. – Pat Gandin.
– You threw me out. – See you on Monday Pat.
– Pat Gandin’s comin’ in Lawrence. – I thought I was good at Overwatch!
– No you’re not. – Nooooooo! Ahhhhh!
– [Bruce] You’re now his production assistant. – Ohhhhhh! – [James] Why do we drink outta these cups? – All right Pat you’re my coach now. And I am your PA. – Yep. – I need you to tell me how to be good at Overwatch, because clearly after seeing it cut down on a 20 minute match you know everything about how I play the game. – This is my Holy Grail, I shall live forever as long as I stay in this cave. – I’m not in a cave, I’m bad at Overwatch. It was a good Roadhog, I’ll admit that, but–
– Wrap it up Lawrence.
– He hit me on– – [Bruce] This’ll be your last act as a Funhaus member.
– The very edge of the le… Ah.
Fuck man. – [James] Tie it back to the end.
– I’ve never gotten hooked that far, that’s all I’m saying. I just said it was suspicious, I didn’t say he was hacking, I just said he was good. Is that so bad? He killed the fuck outta me, and I think it’s okay to get a little salty when you get killed.
– [Bruce] You should talk about munch box Lawrence. – I don’t wanna, I wanna talk about Overwatch. ‘Cause I lost my job over this.
– [Adam] You can turn it off Omar it’s fine. – Damn it. Listen, everyone gets that way, that’s how games work, okay? And you watch a video and you eh eh eh maybe I’m dailing it up a little bit, maybe I wanna be the villain– – [Bruce] You probably should stop. – No no no I’m an asshole. Oh oh oh, eh ugh ah. – I’ll do another one at the end, just in case. There you go. – Elyse has really defined biceps, she reached up to her head a lot in this video, and each time I felt like I got free tickets to the gun show.
– Elyse, show us the guns. Show us the guns Elyse! – Ohhhhh!
– All right, so flex. – Do it.
– Okay. – Yeah, we’re all doing it.
– Everybody’s doing it. – [Adam] Look at us go.
– Oh, actually he did. – [James] This is what Odysseus shot his arrow through. – Put your arms up guys! Come on! – [James] There it is. – [Bruce] What are you doing?
– [James] There it is. – [Elyse] I can’t hold this.
– [Bruce] We’re in line!
– [James] We’re doing it, which one’s the biggest? – [Bruce] It’s Elyse obviously. – [James] We can’t see the rest of our arms ’cause Elyse’s is too large.
– Elyse is too big, I can’t get passed it!

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