Is Everyone at the Gym Stoned?


LET’S TAKE A
LOOK AT SOME HEADLINES THAT CAUGHT OUR EYE. I DON’T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS. ACCORDING TO ONE NEWLY PUBLISHED
STUDY, EIGHT OUT OF TEN PEOPLE SAY MARIJUANA MAKES EXERCISING
“MORE ENJOYABLE” AND EVEN “IMPROVES THEIR RECOVERY.” YEAH. CAN THIS BE CITE? I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M LOOKING AT
YOU REG. IS THIS TRUE. DOES THIS FEEL RIGHT TO YOU?>>Reggie: I THINK SO.>>James: REALLY? MARIJUANA MAKES EXERCISE MORE
ENJOYABLE. I GUESS. SPECIFICALLY, THE PART WHEN THE
MARIJUANA MAKES YOU FORGET TO EXERCISE. I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS RIGHT. IF SMOKING WEED REALLY LED TO
BETTER, MORE ENJOYABLE EXERCISE THEN TIM IN THE BAND WOULD LOOK
LIKE CHANNING TATUM. (LAUGHTER)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)>>James: HERE’S AN
INTERESTING STUDY FROM THE WORLD OF SCIENCE. ACCORDING TO RESEARCHERS, PEOPLE
ACCORDING TO RESEARCHERS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF PORTSMOUTH,
DONKEYS LIVING IN ENGLAND HATE THE WEATHER OVER THERE. APPARENTLY, DONKEYS REALLY
DISLIKE THE WIND AND RAIN. IS THIS A STUDY WE NEEDED? NOBODY LIKES THE WEATHER IN
ENGLAND. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I’M
DOING HERE? IMAGINE SPENDING FOUR LONG YEARS
IN COLLEGE, WORKING HARD TO GET INTO THE TOP GRADUATE PROGRAM IN
YOUR FIELD, AND THEN, AFTER ALL THAT HARD WORK, PEOPLE ARE LIKE,
“YOU’RE A SCIENTIST! WOWR! WHAT DO YOU STUDY?”
AND THEN YOU’RE LIKE, “I FOUND OUT THAT BRITISH DONKEYS DON’T
LIKE THE RAIN. BRITISH DONKEYS HATE THE
WEATHER. SO THE LESSON HERE IS, WHEN IT
GETS COLD OUTSIDE, BE SURE TO COVER YOUR ASS. THAT’S ALL ME, ONE OF MY OWN, I
DID THAT. AND IN OTHER NEWS, A HOSPITAL IN
THAILAND HAS CREATED A NEW, APPARENTLY PAINLESS SURGERY THAT
MAKES YOU LOOK GREAT IN THOSE SWIM TRUNKS. THE SURGERY LITERALLY SCULPTS
MUSCLES OUT OF STOMACH FAT TO CREATE SIX-PACK ABS. LOOK AT THIS, HERE. AND IT LOOKS SO NATURAL! SERIOUSLY, THOSE NOVELTY
T-SHIRTS WITH THE TUXEDO GRAPHIC ON THE FRONT LOOK MORE REALISTIC
THAN THAT. CAN WE SEE IT AGAIN? THOSE LOOK NOTHING LIKE NORMAL
HUMAN ABS. SAVE YOUR MONEY, BUY A MARKER
AND JUST WRITE “SIX-PACK” ON YOUR STOMACH. THAT WOULD BE BETTER. AND FINALLY, WE HAD TO SHOW YOU
THIS. AUTHORITIES IN FLORIDA ARE
SEARCHING FOR A MAN WHO ROBBED A LITTLE LEAGUE CONCESSION STAND
WEARING A BASEBALL CAP, GLOVES– AND NOTHING ELSE. YEAH, HE WAS COMPLETELY NAKED. THIS IS DEFINITELY ONE OF THE
TOP 200 “NAKED FLORIDA MAN” STORIES I’VE HEARD THIS WEEK. TO BE FAIR TO THE MAN, IN
FLORIDA, BEING NAKED EXCEPT FOR JUST A HAT AND GLOVES IS
CONSIDERED BUSINESS CASUAL. THE GUY ROBBED A LITTLE LEAGUE
CONCESSION STAND COMPLETELY NAKED. HE’S DESCRIBED AS AVERAGE
HEIGHT, AVERAGE BUILD, AND HAVING TWO FOUL BALLS.

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